Ey Up Mate, You Look Like a Colouring Book
"T here is no country in the world that does not practice tattooing or some other form of permanent body decoration..." - Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man , 1871. --- I remember on Tattoo Fixers , a show on E4 about people getting their disastrous tattoos covered with more tasteful artwork, a man getting a zombie tattooed over his entire pelvic region. The plane of pelvic skin where one's hair would otherwise grow flashed an ominous-looking, drooling, somnambulent zombie. It looked fairly cool. But the clincher came when the audience realised he also got the entire length of his penis fully tattooed in the colour and tones of a zombie's outstretched finger. Both designs matched up to give the artwork a feral and desperate look, combining comedy with a kind of toe-curling disgust, with the longing for the safety of your bed, far, far away from anything else that could possibly bring that thing to attention. Can you imagine maintaing both: a) your dignity and b) your ...